The more i talk to my friends, more problems i see. Every one has similar issues - and most of them start with the word Saas.
Really. 80% of the complaints i receive are about the mothers-in-law. There are an occasional mother-in-law complaining about the bahu (daughter-in-law) too, but then most of them are not the visitors on my blog so i don’t hear much from them.
Anyways long story short, here are the common complaints i hear from my visitors- do you have the same feelings?
1. My Mother-in-law wants to control my husband.
2. my mother-in-law always says bad things about my family.
3. Since i got married, my in-laws haven’t given me any gift- but they are always ready to take what i received from my family.
4. Whenever i ask permission to do something i want i am not allowed to do that thing.
5. My in-laws will complain about me to my husband and that too behind my back.
6. I am never asked to be part of any decision making in the family.
7. All my in-laws want from me is a boy to continue the family’s name.
8. If i goto my mother’s place, i can not stay for more than a couple of days. I have to always fight for that.
9. My mother-in-law doesn’t think i am a good cook. She always finds fault in my cooking.
10. I am not allowed to talk infront of the elders - even if they have no objection and talk to me as friends.
The List goes on and on and on - but the issue is the same and its a story of every (mostly middle class) families in India. Whether they are a joint family or a nuclear family - i have heard the same things from every person in my circle. The extent of the issues vary from extreme to compromisable - but its still an issue.
What do we do in such scenarios? Well the answer is depends. seriously, it all depends on your nature, the nature of your in-laws and most importantly the relationship and understanding you have with your husband.
If your husband trusts you and he knows how to differentiate between right and wrong, then its easy to resolve this problems. Sometimes you have to compromise but then he should know that you did it for him because otherwise you have no reason to respect his mom.
Another important thing is your family’s teachings. I am glad my mother taught me to stay calm in every situation and make a intelligent decision instead of an emotional reaction. If you are emotional, it may not help - but you have to resolve issues with love and harmony, after all its your family !
Have fun resolving conflicts, and i certainly hope that my blog will help in resolving your family issues, marital issues and problems.
Take care!
Tags: ghar ghar ki kahaani, Husband-Wife, husbands dillema, indian family, indian family issues, saas-bahu
August 13th, 2010 at 10:31 pm
Hi… I have heard about all this many times…but now that Iam proud to say that my Mother-In-law is very nice & good actually she takes good care of me always & never asks me to do any work.